The Opportunity of Intensity

This is another message from The Beloved within.  It’s from a few years ago now but still feels relevant.  I hope it feeds some souls.  Blessings.

Hi….

Did you remember to breathe?  Are you breathing consciously now?

Whether our experience of intensity is great or small it matters not – intensity is there asking us to grow to include the current experience.  We are not our current experience but usually we believe we are.  It is a stage on the cycle of growth… once we see intensity as an opportunity for growth and expansion, the cycle will become a spiral of knowledge as perspective will have changed.

Breath is always the key to integrating in the moment ‘the overwhelm’ feeling  that experience becomes when we believe we are not big enough or not ‘something’ enough.  When we believe we are only this or that, rather than everything, then experience becomes intense because we perceive there to be a great enough difference between ‘this’ or ‘that’, or ‘self’ and ‘other’. This makes us feel even smaller and less than because we have perceived something as outside of ourselves. So often you hear people saying “this is greater than both of us”… this is a misunderstanding…there is nothing greater than me or you or us.  The ‘us’ is the remembering of who we truly are but the part of me that does not yet remember fully is now trying to cope with the expansion it is currently experiencing.

ALLOWING is necessary for this stage plus some breaking down of structures previously created, so you can grow to include this experience.

Intensity is not always noticed when there is a small difference between this or that. Becoming sensitive to the difference is the key, and that means getting used to intensity.

Cycles within cycles are always happening, allowing the expansion, integrating the new experience, creating new structures, re-defining picture of self, breaking down structures… etc. but these cycles are all happening at the same time. It’s not some neat pattern where we only get to see one part of the cycle happening at a time, there is always cycles within cycles happening all the time.

There is no perfect way to do relationship!  There is not an ideal way of being or doing.  Let go of the identification with your experience – it’s just experience and that is growth.  Allow this experience without having to change it or give it marks out of ten.  Give yourself space to integrate.  Give yourself permission to fall apart as your structures disintegrate yet again.  Enjoy the new structures of self-definition that occur to you as a result of your integration… this is called realisation… then allow the next experience without having to define is according to your new definition of yourself!!!

OF COURSE you will struggle with this as you are both human and divine and it is so easy to ‘lose’ yourself inbetween… but really the truth is not that you lose yourself, it’s that you have yet to know WHO YOU ARE. You are already ‘lost’ in Oneness or another way to say it is that on one level,  that you already know yourself to be everything.  You are here to individuate.  But how can God individuate without the cycles of growth?  How can we as God know ourselves to be THAT until we are THAT?  Only through KNOWING that experience is simply growth, and not who we are. When God (us) redefines herself she then KNOWS she is that, and that, and that over there too… and yet, not just that either because already the next cycle has overlapped the current one because God is always growing and experiencing something new.  There is always something new happening, change is always occurring and that doesn’t change 🙂

Relationship is there to help you define who you are, and who you are not. When you already have the innate ability to be at one with everything, then how would you manage to know this to be so unless something comes along to show you that?  Your gift is to share with others your ability of being at One with everything – it’s not a curse or a fault.

You describe your experience as an issue, yet you are truly seeing the other as an angel and this is accurate.  Yet you cannot see yourself as this! So it’s very one-sided – hence the purpose of relationship because without there being ‘an other’ it would be impossible to be see this.  This is just God having a new experience through the gift of relationship.

Yes… so it’s very one-sided when we meet an other because one hand we are reminded of our true nature, and yet as that happens, we do not allow ourselves to believe we are that also. WHY? Because we believe we are not good enough to be that due to shame. Everything after that comes from guilt of not being good enough, so we endlessly try to make up the deficit of not being good enough.  Unfortunately this is an endless game because there is no such thing as deficit (debt). Why? Because there is no-one else to be indebted to.

Call on Spirit to help you release all shame from your Being, from deep inside every single cell in your physical body. Give yourself the time to allow your experiences without having to decide what next to do.  With one hand, touch/grip the back of your head where it meets the neck (occiput) and with the other, the base of spine (coccyx) and command, “Activate and Integrate NOW”.  Say it 3 times.  This will help.  Do the same for perineum and crown.

Ultimately I would say that you think you are failing at this, yet you are aware of where you have elevated someone above you (made special) and so I must ask the question, how conscious is that?  Very.

And because you ‘see’, you will not be making the same ‘mistakes’ you made before; you have grown and are now coming from a difference perspective than before. The unsettledness is simply evidence of your growth stage. You will get to the stage of comfort when you redefine yourself, but that too will not last.  We do not like the integration part of the process (the magnetic phase) because that part is feminine and we have decided as a collective not to accept the feminine.

You will never make safe the growth process, and if you did, it would not be growth. You will never manage to restrict relationship even if you were temporarily able to define it.  So what does doing it on a practical level actually mean?  Where have you become attached to your ideas of that?

Yes, yes, yes to intensity….Breathe and allow it to pass through you as if you are transparent, made of gauze… ripples moving through a beautiful lake, from the core of yourself out through your body and fields spherically.

 

Lynn’s observations: From my work in helping people to grow to include more pleasure, I see that intensity and our need to restrict and control it comes from fear of it – most people say NO to intensity which doesn’t stop the intensity of course because you cannot stop it.  So you still get intensity. Trying to slow it down, or divert it somehow doesn’t work either, so no matter what you ultimately do, you will grow through intensity whether you say yes or not to it, because it happens anyway!  That is the joke of free will.

Don’t forget to laugh at yourself too, and to admire and congratulate yourself too – like you were observing a child having experiences.

Reminiscing…

One day about 10 years ago, I was driving along in my car and an old familiar song came on the radio.  It took me back years and in an instant I was once again 17 years of age.

I began to feel immersed in the reminiscing.  You know that energy? A sweet sorrow – bitter/sweet… a very poignant feeling of wistfully wishing I was there again because it was so much better back then than it was now… ahh…yes how wonderful it all was then…

Or was it?

Was it really better back then than it was right now?

Because right now was pretty superb actually – I was just in the beginning of a fabulous new relationship, new house, and supremely happy, more so than any other time in my life.

Yet here I was wishing I was in another time and space, convinced by this reminiscing energy that I was better off then.  So I asked myself in a no-nonsense way and realised that of course it wasn’t better then!  It is just some misperception that makes the past seem better or preferable to the present.  In fact I reckoned that in another few years I’d be doing exactly the same thing about this time in my life!

Such mind games!

Perhaps it is unreal yet it is also so believable and real in the moment it is happening. If we just take it a face value and not question, then we simply continue believing it. It stays real for us. So although the experience of reminiscing is not altogether unpleasant it does have a rather melancholy aspect to it and a strange addictive self-indulgent tendency most definitely leaning towards maudlin. Hmmm… I got more curious about the power of this energy and wondered how it worked. In fact, the speed at which my state of mind had changed once the song came on was remarkable and I began to question the reality of this experience we call reminiscing.

So I allowed myself to go back into the reminiscing feeling and very quickly I was feeling less content once more. Having done a fair bit of de-programming of cultural and societal beliefs already, I was equipped to deal with it.   I questioned this energy outright:  Is this Love?  I asked myself.  “NO” was the answer.  “Well if it’s not Love, it’s not Real and I don’t need to believe it any longer.  I let it go now”.

And, it left. Immediately and completely.  100% shift in experience – instantly I felt so much clearer with no energy of reminiscing to be found despite that the song was still playing.

I was left in no doubt that this experience we have of reminiscing is not helpful and is not the truth of who we are.  It’s just another way to continue circulating discontent in our life.

This was a simple thing for me to do as I was well used to de-programming and was able to notice the shift in experience very quickly. The whole experience lasted less than the 31/2 minutes the song played. The key here is being aware of what is happening in one’s own experience and being in choice, not being in ignorance of what is going on and blindly accepting it.

Get in touch if you’d like to work personally with me on building up your tool kit to deal with this sort of stuff in the moment.

©2016 Lynn Paterson

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The Power of KNow

 

In a meditation, I experienced a desire, a longing.  I realised that I’ve a compelling, a passionate, feeling of wanting to love myself (compassionate). In realising this, I told my inner self this, I spoke to my heart.  Here is what She said:

Remove everything, every label to the bare bones, remove the object and the subject and ideas of what this means.  Please just see that there is no wanting here – what is here, what is happening, what the truth is, is that you are being compassion.

You are experiencing yourself as Love.  You’ve assigned meaning only because when you are having this experience, you somehow feel it’s not right, it’s wrong and you need to separate yourself from it.  Yet there’s nothing wrong (no thing is wrong – it’s just a thing) but once you’ve distanced yourself, you no longer can recognise the simple truth.

So, stop and strip!  Strip away those subjectives and realise that the experience you are having is Loving yourself.

This is the “Power of Know”.

Just take away “the want” and know that whatever you are experiencing is what you want to experience.

Even more simply when you remove/take away “the want” you are left with the experience, yes?

Know and allow the possibility that the feeling you are having is already what you want.  So having the feeling is actually me having the experience of loving myself.  It’s the proof, not the lack of.

How can you want something you don’t have?

Conditions = qualifiers.  Take away the conditions judgements and expectations.

So take that intense feeling you are having and simply rephrase the words in your head “I am having an experience of loving myself” and beyond that “Right now I am loving myself” to “I love myself so deeply” – “This intense feeling I am experiencing is an experience of me loving me”.

QuanYin&WesakMoon

Mind the Gap!

This is a realisation, and it’s a conversation I had with myself on 15 August 2015.  I’ve written it exactly as I experienced it and have ignored the impulse to make changes to make it make more ‘sense’.  It is as I heard and experienced it and in the moment it made perfect sense. Although I’ve used the term ‘you’ it is not directed at YOU, but a conversation with myself.  I added a bit of an explanation about the game being fun as I know my reaction can often be how is the game fun when there is so much suffering. Lynn

 

MIND THE GAP!

We are wave and particle ~ blinking in and out of existence, first one, then the other:

Blinking in and out of existence, forgetting I am one when I’m the other.  One moment I am this, and then in the next, I am that.  When I am this, I have forgotten I am that.  When I am that, I have forgotten I am this.  It is in the blink of the I (Aye) that forgetting happens – the gap between this and that.  The crack in the paving. Mind the gap.

Let me show you how to remember you are not one or the other; you are I and the other.

The journey into Solace (Soulace) begins by being willing to take the first step.  There is really only ever one step.  One step is all it ever takes.  If you truly believe you have taken more than one step, then there is something you have missed; you’ve either left it behind or sent it ahead of yourself, or shunted it to the side.  You’ve fallen out of step.  There is only one step – it is whole and complete in itself.

What happens when one is fully cognitive of and in each moment?  Well, then there is truly only one moment, over and over again.  Peace in fact. When one is not fully cognitive in the moment, the moment is fragmented, and one is in pieces, to the exact degree of not being fully cognitive.  The moment when you cannot be fully cognitive is going to have to be experienced ‘again’.

Existence and non-existence is simply about where we place focus. If we are able to focus on both this and that in the same moment, on both wave and particle, then the game of duality is up.

But it is such a delicious game! What fun! First I’m this, then I’m that!  How could this not be fun? Have I forgotten how to have fun?  Why am I trying to be one thing or the other?  Be both.  Be the cake, AND eat it too.*

Language is both the separator and that which it is separated from.

You are I, 1, and the other.

*In this world of great pain and suffering, which as an empathic person I feel very deeply, I was made very aware that having a sense of fun, taking oneself lightly and laughing often is indeed a great antidote to the terrible seriousness and suffering of the world.  It is not to be dismissed as either thoughtless, harsh, unkind nor flippant.  The forgetting of fun is indeed part of the root cause of the suffering.  Fun and kindness go hand in hand.  People who laugh have open hearts, especially those who are able to laugh for no reason at all.  Laughter builds bridges between one heart and another.  The message that was imparted to me left me in no doubt that the simple truth is that fun and laughter, a childlike innocence, is the key to self-realization and a joyful and very engaging life experience.  It what we were created for.

But Alan Watts says it much more succinctly!mind the gap3

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And now some random perspectives on that gap…

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Crisis

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I wrote this short poem last year, at one of the peaks of despair after my relationship broke up.  It yielded a massive break-through, though I had to go into the pain fully to experience it before it broke on the shores of truth.

CRISIS

The cry of darkness, the call of the wild, burning from my heart into yours. Shadows; dancing and chasing themselves into endless knots of stupidity in my mind. How can it be that I did not know?

Chasms open up into pain engulfing my very consciousness reminding me of my mortality and screaming like a banshee in a high wind.
I cry NO! there is no me that is threatened here!

………

He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion with him and had abandoned herself to it.―Anaïs Nin

It was one thing to be attacked by someone you hated, but this was something else. This was the kind of hurt that could only be inflicted by someone you loved, who you thought loved you. It was sort of like being stabbed from the inside out. —Ethan Wate, “Beautiful Darkness”

The highest, most decisive experience is to be alone with one’s own self. You must be alone to find out what supports you, when you find that you can not support yourself. Only this experience can give you an indestructible foundation. —C.G. Jung

A Dark Night is . . . a mental and emotional state of despair that arises when something is so painful that it blots out all other considerations and makes carrying on as usual out of the question. —Susan Piver

 

The Mystical Dance

The Dance begins…

Set free of ego control, the inner power does not run amok chaotically destroying everything and anything in its path. Only that which is unreal is unmade.  Chaos, finally freed, creates order in its wake.  Order, freed from being the boss and no longer fixed in place, gives way in relief to flow.

Only that which is unreal is unreeled…

Chaos and order share power equally, for they are but two sides of the same coin.  Attempting to place one above the other is impossible for they are One, separated only in illusion of time and space.

Surrender may happen in every moment… it is not something that is a one-off event nor to be measured, or counted in numbers.  Surrender is simply letting go of holding onto dancer, chaos or order.  It is futile to believe either to be separate from the other.  Only in full awareness of the two being One is it possible for the dance to continue, infinitely changing, eternally the same.

It is in each moment that existence and non-existence blink in and out of being each other.  Being and not being. Particle and wave.  Seeing through the eternal dance of the tantric lovers, the infinite Truth of the One may be seen.

And in Remembering, They are One…

Who is then that sees?

shivashakti

The Emperor’s New Clothes

Greetings Beloveds,

A continuation of musings in the same vein or theme as the previous blog, The Hidden Beloved.

The ordinary self is not good enough. So I try to make it other.  I try to make other myself.  I try to impose a shinier version. I yearn to be this big shining star.  I effort to find something that I am.  I see an angel and think; maybe I am that still waiting to be discovered! Special, different, better, worse… all impossible.  The more I want to be special the further I take myself away from truth. The more I set myself aside from ‘others’ the lonelier I become.  I belie I am different in my suffering – no one can understand. I get the pleasure of the martyr which is no more than the pain of separation. Separating myself and negating the self are the same thing/action.  That I can be different, special, above everyone else was the promise and lie for I can no more be above than below.  But I can choose to experience them separately.  By separating myself I can choose to split the whole into two.  Or at least experience it as such.  But even oneness is imaginary surely? Still, it will do for now as it’s impossible to imagine nothingness, and I need some context for to have no belief also seems impossible. In exploring this unveiling the fairy story of the Emperor’s New Clothes came to mind.

I’ve written a new twist on the story. His story, the Emperor’s.  And I cannot quite believe that a brief search just now on the old fairy story of The Emperor’s New Clothes is now all about Russell Brand’s new film which is all over the news today!!! – Seriously, I don’t keep up with the media and had no idea when I started writing this several days ago.  Just goes to show there is no separation, though in the case of Russell Brand, I wouldn’t mind the illusion. But onwards with the new take on an old story:

The Emperor’s New Clothes

The Emperor believed he could separate himself and be above everyone else. Despite his ever increasing attempts to make himself special, this always failed to make it so, and he became a bit depressed and sometimes a little angry with himself, and drove himself harder and harder to achieve the impossible.  He decided to commission a new set of clothes that would finally distinguish himself from everyone else in the crowd on the great day of showing off.  The news spread far and wide. Clothes made, dawned the day.

Huge crowds turned out despite the rather cloudy cool day. Most were wearing their sheepskins to keep insulated from the reality of that. And of course, consensus reality meant all had already agreed to see what they were conditioned to see and forget that they had agreed in the first place, leaving them thinking they had a separate mind from everyone else, yet all happy to act the same anyway.

Except for a young child in the crowd outside the palace where the Emperor paraded.  This youngster was not conditioned or socialised, and some might call that wild or innocent. The child saw the truth, that the Emperor was not wearing any clothes.  In fact, his desire to transform into someone better created the inevitable –it happened. But not in the way he thought he wanted of course as he literally got naked to others before he was ready to get naked to himself! And it turned out that these clothes did the opposite of what he had tried to do; they did not provide a barrier to oneness at all.

As the child spoke up, the spell was broken and others saw through the eyes of innocence and the lies of better or worse than were exposed, just like the Emperor was.  Right there, in that moment, the crowd had a chance to stop the game and get naked too, but instead they chose to continue the game of duality, and chose the ‘better than’ role and ridiculed and shamed the Emperor for his pride. Shame and pride are of course opposites in the world of make-believe.

The Emperor also had a choice in that moment as to continue the ‘make-believe’ game or not. But heck, he was already completely bollocks naked, how much worse could it get???

He too saw through the eyes of the child and through the lies of the game and went to the child and thanked him for showing him the truth.  In doing so he simply swallowed and digested his pride which immediately gave him a huge sense of freedom and relief, plus a lot of ‘new’ energy to use.  His nakedness revealed his natural humanity which is quite harmless really, and so pretty soon no one was afraid of him being better than they any more.  In fact, everyone stripped off as the sun came out, the day became warm, people jumped into the fountains, splashing happily as others rushed off in great excitement to prepare a great feast.

And they all lived eternally ever after.  Though as humans, it was inevitable that the next day some were hungover as they were not quite ready to embrace the new and simpler way yet.

The Hidden Beloved

Why is self-care so difficult? Why is say, sitting in silent meditation for only half an hour each day so darned hard to do? I’m not talking about guided meditations, snoozes, setting a sacred space etc. I’m talking about just sitting there with no distractions whatsoever. So why is that so very hard to do?
Because it’s really listening to ourselves – in sitting in silence with nothing else to distract us, we have to see who we are; we have to come face to face with who we think we are. It is very difficult to be intimate with the self; we’ll do anything at all to avoid, to void the self, to distract us from the monster within or the terrible emptiness that we think is inside of us.
This negation of self, this mass belief of the ordinary not being good enough, has created a monster of consumption that is never going to be satisfied for it’s impossible to fill a void that is not actually there in the first place. It’s all a lie.
The ordinary is enough, and trying to add to or change perfection can only take us away from that.
When we look at all the lies that we manufacture to convince ourselves that what our beliefs are right and that we need to change, to add or alter ourselves, we can see that the products of those lies materialise.
You’re being sold your self-worth. Oh dear! Hence the endless consumerism or the infinite inventions of that which is supposed to make you feel whole and complete.
The ordinary is enough is a realisation that the ordinary is enough.  But that claim, those words, that sentence, well, it doesn’t feel like enough does it?
And this can be applied to everything that is out there designed to change, improve, alter, whatever! It cannot be done. Change is not possible, only perspective can be changed. The more things change, the more things stay the same. That’s because you, they, me, everyone, is eternal and unmoving.That’s it. The key to discovering, to uncovering this truth, is to actually do the opposite of what we are all desperately trying to do – stop trying to change anything at all.Yes, one of the greatest lies of all time is that change is necessary, or even possible.It’s this belief that is the promise and driving force of all religion, including new age spirituality, and of course, one of the biggest money makers of all time.
“Be the change you want to see in the world”. This one had me in its thrall for quite some time till recently in fact, when I saw through the mistaken belief that change is actually possible.
The only thing we need to change, is to stop trying to change anything, especially ourselves. Only then will we be able to see that we are perfect exactly as we are. Though it does take some time for the layers of what we’ve tried to add to peel away. And it takes a lot of courage to face that which we’ve hidden from, to uncover the self-betrayal and self-abandonment and attempts to negate the self. However, when we’ve seen, and then become the Hidden Beloved, it’s worth it.
The realization may only happen in its own timing. Until then, it is inevitable that we will continue to look outside ourselves, to endlessly try to fill a bucket with a hole in it, and continue to fail to fill up from the outside.

Nothing more is needed.

Notes about “The ordinary is enough.” When I discovered this I wanted to explain it by saying how exquisite the ordinary was, but all that did was to start the re-layering process again. There’s no need to explain why the ordinary is enough, no need to find other words to describe the feeling that the ordinary is enough. It is simply what is left when effort is removed. The Peace of The Ordinary. The peace of Giving up Trying to Change or Fix IT. The Peace of trying to change yourself. There is no change possible – change is an illusion – it all stays the same no matter how much it ‘changes’. The lie is believing it can change. Action can only come from what has been done before. Right action comes from Being. You cannot change yourself. You can only change the way you see yourself.

Blessings,
Lynn

The ‘Present’ Moment

The present moment – a way of seeing it.

We hide our gifts from ourselves.. in fact,we hide them so well that we forget what they are or that they were ours in the first place.

We wrap them up in fancy paper and when we deem ourselves ready, we present ourselves with the gift and we have such fun unwrapping it… we are so joyful when we see what it is!  This is known as a ‘present’ moment.

Eventually, we might also remember that it was pre-sent by the same self who received it. At this point we have realised (real-eyes-ed) that we are playing a game with ourselves.

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The Goddess Within

Spinning within my comfort zone

Stoned

Comfort zoned

She appears like a flower, like a flame

Telling me it’s time to be naked to myself

She turns me around and around

Upside down

Inside out

Till the compass of my heart has found its true direction

And before I’m ready to go, I go.

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