It’s Raining Today…

Lynn Paterson1 Comment

A bit of rain is falling this morning, and being a bit of a fair weather freak, I wonder how wet I will get if I go for my walk.  I go anyway and find it soft and gently warm outside. Contrast to yesterday when it was so bright. Today I find myself more introverted and feel that instead of looking for something, I will let things comes to me instead.

I set off up the wee road and before going far realise that I have a script running in my head: It’s like I’m rehearsing for this blog, like a fly on the wall documentary, jeez – it’s just a blog for God’s sake!  Why do I get into this energy of contriving so easily?  I resolve to set it aside and continue.

It comes back very quickly and I catch myself plotting what I will say in the blog.  I have to laugh at myself really – fighting with this will only produce more of it.  I let go again and decide to take another path in the woods.  A few yards further and I come across this little scene:

I wonder what this is … I peer at it and see the garden chairs, the traffic cone…hmmmm… very interesting!

I consider the merits of taking photos of this to share.  I take them anyway – after all, the idea is to share what I find interesting on my walk. I could do with being less interested in the value of something, I thought.

I moved closer to the little woodland hide-away, fascinated by the consciousness that would think to drag a metal barrier fence, a traffic cone and other bits and pieces into the woods to construct a habitat (of sorts):

The mystical shining light is the reflective white band on a traffic cone.
I love the sign “Woodpoint House B&B” that has been appropriated.

I checked out the empty beer cans. A picture started forming in my head, the chairs are side-by-side facing a pallet, behind which were more than a few empty beer cans.  Only the TV was missing.

Some house-keeping is needed…

I contemplated on the desire, the effort and the people who constructed this and spent time here.  A fair amount of effort was needed.  But why want to be in the woods and then leave your trash around?  Pondering on these simple questions could reveal much about the workings of human consciousness and the state of the world.  I’m not judging, I’m wondering, pondering and contemplating as I find it fascinating to unravel the workings of the mind.

I found what they’d one with this piece of wood and tree interesting. What was it there for?

I left the little domestic scene and continued.  The path ran out and I had to make a new one, feeling slightly guilty about trampling the bluebells as I went.  I blessed them.  These woods are extraordinary to me – for some reason I am so enamoured by so may different things here… it’s impossible agin to stick with only taking 4 photos so I revise my commitment and think perhaps I will just do the blog once a week instead and include more photos.

I loved the energy of this tree – this is what was in front of my eyes when something about it just stopped me in my tracks. It was magnetic.
I usually see a white feather on my walk. It kind of feels like a sign of en-couragement. It may be a simple walk, but it is going far deeper than that in my consciousness. I am using this morning walk as a therapy, even a rite of passage.
Another tree that made me look at it. A gorgeous, huge beech tree. The trunk and bark remind me of elephants. Not that elephants bark. but you know what I mean.  I thought I couldn’t get across it’s magnificent size and splendour in a photo, so I almost didn’t take the shot, but the tree told me it could transmit it’s essence to you in a picture, so tune in and find out for yourself if it was telling the truth:~)
This white flowered plant is known as Pignuts. You can eat the root. Dig it out, wash, peel and slice it – eat raw or cooked. A bit of effort but it is nice. You’d need to get a few for a decent meal, but perfect as part of a wild-food salad.

I took another new path off the main path, it went sharply uphill.  It came to a point where it split like a Nexus with many paths going in many directions. I followed one which finished in this little sweet space.  I was sure I could hear the fairies singing…

Sweet spot off the beaten track.

I came out off the woods at a different point on the road – a place where one of the house-owners has garden-ized a bit of the land at the side of the road.  This tree made me stop and my resolve melted.  I took its picture.  The little plants growing on it are Penny Wort, or Navel Wort (they look like tummy buttons) and they are edible, in a salad, with a slight mushroomy flavour and like a succulent, very juicy.

What is it about trees with splits like this low down that I love so much?

In the shower I was thinking about values and our habit of placing a value on everything.  I wondered about all the stuff we own, all the things, the experiences, the teachings, the giveaways.  I wondered if we value anything we don’t need.

My mind wandered to an instance where I gave away some energetic tools as an experiment to see if other people found them useful.  I was pretty sure they were not still being used.  Something arose in me that was uncomfortable but I couldn’t place it – I just couldn’t see what it was but it caused my adrenals to kick in (this is what happens to me now-a-days, due to menopause I suspect, and a refining, a redefining of my energies, I get a reaction in my body that is in direct relation to something that I have thought or seen.  My inner interpretation, or filter system recognises it and it is interpreted as a threat.)  It was about the value or interest in things, like this blog – truly it could only be interesting and of value as long as I was not trying to make it so.  The moment we try to make something in a particular way, the purity is lost and the thing is now less than it could have been.

What if I were to simply let go of any idea of value or worth, to stop looking at things or people, or experiences and assigning a perceived value to it?  I suspect peace is the answer.

And, isn’t it interesting how we have constructed a world where value is everything: “How much is he worth?” is a common question. “He’s worth a fortune”.  Is he now???

“How do you earn your living?”  (You mean we have to pay to be here? Why?)

And isn’t it interesting that we call the value of money charged as ‘interest’ when we loan or borrow it?

Morning Walk

Lynn Paterson1 Comment
My morning walk often starts up this little private road just next to where we live. It leads up to 2 or 3 houses and the top of the woods.

I’ve been taking a morning walk for the last month, before my shower and before breakfast. Sometimes it’s been a delight and sometimes it’s been an effort but I am feeling the benefits of it.  I’m starting to slow down and notice my reactions to things more clearly. I notice how hard it is for me to simply just walk without trying to make a goal out it somehow.  I catch myself falling into the habituative programs that take me away from the moment.  It’s not rocket science – I’ve known this stuff for ages yet knowing is not doing and doing is not being.  Unless that doing arises from a state of being, then it’s doing too:~)

Yesterday, whilst out on a longer than usual walk in the woods by the sea, I found myself wishing I had a camera or a video so I could share some of the simple beauties I come across on my walks.  Nothing extraordinary and yet exactly that at the same time.  No moment will ever be experienced exactly like that again.  So I decided it would be nice to post a diary of sorts of my morning walks. Time will tell how often and how long I keep this up.

So armed with my camera I set out this morning and soon discovered so many beautiful things to take pictures of that I lost my way.  Or at least lost the perfection of being present because I was so intent on futurizing, on taking pictures to share that I was disconnected  from simply just being. I realised that I needed some discipline or else my walks would be wasted so I decided to limit myself to taking only 4 pictures per walk after today, and then reduce that further to maybe only one or two, or even a short video from time to time.  I had a bit of an anxious moment then, worried that I may not get the best of the best of the best shots unless I took loads and then cherry picked.  Sigh… off I go again!

Entrance to woods at top of road.. the sea is below in the distance. I love the energy of this spot..it fascinates me. The sharp eyed may spot what looks like a little doorway on the right of the picture.
I just love ferns… especially at this time of year when there are unfurling. There are several different varieties that grown well here in this part of Ireland. This type would be for sale in a Scottish garden centre and here it grows wild.
Even a frigging chemtrail couldn’t annoy me this morning ‘cos it was so beautiful out.
Warning: gazing directly into the sun can be harmful for your eyes. Not sure what that strange line is but it’s on all the shots I took of the sun.
In this part of the woods the houses are but a few meters away, yet it feels like a completely different world.

Inner Marriage on Beltane, 2012

Lynn Paterson3 Comments

I’ve been away doing tantric sessions/massage with a friend who is also a trainee – something shifted in those few days… she got really ill on Sunday night and it looked like we might not be able to travel. It lifted long enough for us to get home, thank goodness, but it was a trial for both of us in our own ways. I got home and had a long bath chatting with my beloved. After I got out, I started trembling and shaking – I thought it was lack of food and low blood sugar – which it partly was, yet it continued even after I ate and drank, so I went upstairs to lie down. I “tuned in” and then again several times during the evening but all I got was something about ‘solar lions’. I also became aware that something much bigger than my own personal experience had happened during the time I was away and I can only describe it as our soul family had just gone through a major shamanic journey.

A friend in England texted me and said she had picked up something and asked if I was alright.

Later on, in bed, despite being extremely tired and not having slept well since I had left, I just couldn’t sleep and was still trembling and shaky (this often indicates to me that something is trying to come through and that I’m not allowing it to). I again asked and finally I got a ‘message’ to get my pad and write, so I turned the light on and noticed it was almost midnight, almost Beltane.

It came through very quickly; it had been waiting for this exact moment when the clock ticked into the next day which, even before Beltane was named, is a day that is energetically open and aligned with the merging of male/female principles.

“An initiation. A marriage within the joining of the two forces of nature destined to be made whole, into oneness – inevitable because they cannot stay apart as they attract each other, because they are already one. Yet, until you stopped looking outside of yourself these two inner forces could not meet because they were committed to another’s forces – their docking stations were already occupied.”

It continued…

“Solar Lion – will you marry yourself?” I answered “YES!” “Do you take yourself in full and whole Love?” Said I, “Yes I do, Yes I do. I Am whole and full of essence of unity of Love.”

“The Unity of Love

A Blessing given freely

To those of Faith

2012 is a year of Faith

Do not sway.”

How to do a ceremony – invite in Spirit: angels, elemental energies etc. Wear something nice and gift yourself something as a token of marking this initiation. It may be a bought thing or something given by nature. Bring some greenery into the house. Celebrate together.

It was also suggested that as I am already married  that we look at our agreement and update it again because despite having done this previously, we are now different people – and do this prior to the inner marriage ceremony.

The word Beltane is thought to mean bright fire, white and shinning and fire is used to celebrate the waxing of the sun, giver of life.

“I Want to be Veiled!”

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As usual, I woke up this morning in fear. Actually, more accurately,  what happens is that I awake, and then a few seconds later, I feel fearful.  It’s not a huge, terrible fear; it’s a quiet, almost indiscernible fear. I’ve  been aware of it for some years now and despite many attempts to root it out I still have it. Nowadays, I notice it more so because I get hot flashes due to menopausal symptoms – what happens with hot flashes for me is that if I have an anxious or fearful reaction to something, I then get a hot flash – it’s like a mild panic attack because the adrenaline is activated.

I used to think this morning fear was just fear at being here, on the planet and not feeling safe, not feeling at home here, so when I come out of sleep, awake and come back into my body, I then realise I am ‘here, and that’s enough to make me go into fear! Or so I thought. Recently though, I began to see that upon awakening, I am actually in my body and it is actually that realisation that causes me to feel fearful, and that’s what makes me to leave the body.

Quite an important distinction here as I had always thought we leave our body when we drop off to sleep. However that is not the whole story, and I think what really happens is that we have to fully come into our body in order to leave it! Not exactly sure how this works, but a theory would be that we have to fully ground into the body so that the part that leaves and merges can do so because it is still connected by the silver thread that has to be fully grounded.

Anyway, today was different because as I awoke in peace and moved into fear, I realised that the fear happens at the moment of realisation that I am separate … an individual person – because in sleep and for a few moments before I become aware, I must be knowing that I am not separate…otherwise, I would not have fear when I realise I am once again an individual.

This was a powerful realisation for me because whilst I have truly once or twice really known the words of Marianne Williamson, that we are in fear of our power, it was not something I had truly connected before. Here was another piece of the jigsaw puzzle falling into place. I feel fear because I am an individual. I dozed off again feeling content with this insight which nicely tied in with an experience I had last year about the power of fully individuating.

Awakening about an hour later, I was aware of hearing myself talk to myself… or perhaps it was a dream without a picture… like a soundtrack. I said “I want to be veiled.” Wow! Did I really hear myself saying that? “I want to be veiled!” I’ve never had a program reveal itself to me in this way before, yet I’m pretty sure it was my sub-conscious talking! Immediately I realised the importance of this on not just an individual but collective scale too. We are frightened of the power of women and so we veil them. Physically this happens in some countries, but it also happens energetically in many others. On another level it happens in each of us, whether male or female, as we each have equal masculine and feminine (yin and yang) whether we are a woman or a man. It also applies to the veil of illusion of this 3D ‘reality’ we live in. That veil is often called ‘Maya’ and it is what keeps us from knowing that we are not separate, but are One with All That Is. People who have psychic powers are able to see through the veil more than others and those who have done a lot of clearing* find that this also thins and
eventually removes this veil.

We in the West can often be heard criticising those countries that force their women to cover up and we cannot easily understand why some women actually say they like to wear the veil because they feel safer. They have this pattern more prominently than we do and as such display it for all of us to see. Each nation carries a piece of the shadow puzzle of human consciousness, and just as each region does, each city, town or village and family also does. Indeed, it continues right down to each individual and beyond.

What would happen if we as a whole could see this reflection as collective issue instead of judging? What happens when we see all human behaviour as a reflection of the collective rather than blaming the person as a being or even as their individual issues? To me this is incredibly exciting thing to explore, because despite being a fairly aware individual and intellectually understand this principle, it is another matter entirely to embody and experience the direct knowing of this truth and then to see the programme that I was running without knowing it was amazing.

Of course, I still had the programme to delete which I did and it’s likely that I won’t have seen the end of it because usually clearing limiting beliefs is not a one-off event but an on-going process. Yet, that experience of hearing myself say “I want to be veiled” was powerful in helping me to see how the collective consciousness works in the individual.

Releasing the fear of being seen is the next step – I’ve done a LOT of work on this already, believe me! There used to be a time that I literally became sick at the thought of speaking in a group – even imagining talking about myself and giving my name was enough to have me shaking with fear… and it was worse when the time came too! These days I am not so bad and most folks would have no idea just how desperately insecure and shy I once was, and still can be from time to time. It has never totally gone away and as I said before,  it’s a work in progress releasing it.

I am reminded that compassion for self and others is imperative when doing the ‘work of the self’ and as we do this work as individual, it affects the whole, the collective, and anything that has been done, can be undone.

If you’d like to know more about the clearing* work I do for myself or are interested in arranging a session please contact me for further information- it is my delight to share this work with others so we can enjoy simply being ourselves. You can find the tool I used on the “Tools”  page (Deleting DNA/Matrix Programmes)

*clearing is how I refer to the practice of rooting out that which is  not helpful for our spiritual growth…

Dark Knight of the Soul

Lynn Paterson4 Comments

One night, in the sometimes passed, I wrote this.  Some who know me may be quite astonished to read this, never having guessed I am anything other than the person they know me as.  But I am a very private person… well, I was until very recently.  It was a terrible night when I wrote this and now I’m glad I did put it to paper, though typing it out today does take my full attention to remain centered even now.  It has brought me to a place of peace… a place where time has simply disappeared and there is only now. I called it Dark Knight because these aspects of us are incredibly dark but they also contain our salvation, if we could but see and accept it. The problem always must contain the solution… indeed, how could it be any other way?

I sit and ponder

the meaning of my life.

Why.

Why, is always the question with no answer.  At least no adequate, lasting answer.

I ponder the inadequacies of myself. Always that unavoidable collision of despondency and depression which can only birth a new and fresh approach to inadequacy.

Only possible now to feel it even more deeply – even more ‘exquisitely’.

Exquisitely inadequate.  Yes, that is me.

Deepening now, going further into the feeling. 

Exquisitely inadequate… Yes, it has always been true!

Devotion to the cause will always pay dividends!

Searching, looking, seeing the feeling come to life.

Seemingly without end.

Exquisitely inadequate. No, it is not a happy feeling this one, taking me backwards through time, evaluating, judging … then condemning myself.

Tomorrow will be no better.

Changing now, for the sake of sanity, pretending that this too shall pass.  Too scared to be what I desire, endlessly comparing myself to others. They are good, they are bad… they are better, they are worse…

Always, inevitably ending in exquisite inadequacy.

Desire, death, destruction… feelings flitter by.   Some take root and grow, tying me into an endless cycle of ego driven morality. Tasting like honey at first but soon that too falls away… leaving only the bitter taste of disgust and the anguish of exquisite inadequacy.

Self-doubt insidiously gnawing its way through my consciousness once more.  It knows where to go – the path long since worn into patterns of belief within.

Within, a half-existence.

A Half-hope, a hidden hope…  secret, not daring to emerge …too precious to examine.

Once more dashed, destroyed ‘forgotten’ as the sensation of being exquisitely inadequate re-asserts its forbidden hold once more.

No need to explain.

Very necessary to hide.

Keeping it very secret.

Hopelessness.

Will it always be like this?

The beauty of life lies beyond belief… the terrible heat of the words arises and they quickly burn themselves into my mind; a black fear spreading quickly throughout my consciousness.

Too late now for peace. Going deeper now into darkness – what else is there to feel? Nothing now is left – passing obliquely away.

Leaving only an open wound.  Unable to heal myself.

Exquisitely inadequate.

Beyond life lies the beauty of belief.

Beyond belief beauty lies.

and beauty always lies…

No More. No More. No More.

What choice is available really for the inadequate self?

Never

Quite

Good

Enough.

What Makes Your Heart Sing?

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What makes your heart sing?

For me it’s the deep heart connection where I feel the other, and can see my self reflected in their eyes. Losing myself in joyful, soulful, or sexy dancing. Delighting in nature and beautiful animals. Feeling Spirit fill and move me to the point of tears.

Sharing words, talking and seeing how people change when they see something new. Touch that creates waves of pleasure, touch that helps awaken the sleeper within, with its nurturing, loving presence.

Creating sacred space, slowing down and just being. Helping people to feel better about themselves, to gain some measure of relief from their pain and suffering, and to share tools that have helped me.

And also, just to share my journey, my story, and trust that it inspires others to know that they too can change.

What Makes Your Heart Sing?

2025 NOTE: This was originally written in 2011 and now in 2025 on doing a search,  I have been told by AI that:

Some examples of things that can make your heart sing include: 

  • Running barefoot in the grass
  • Watching a sunset
  • Climbing a mountain
  • Spending time with friends
  • Watching children or dogs play
  • Relaxing in a bath

I find this very interesting, that AI is telling me that what makes people’s hearts sing are all natural things to do. I mean, nature based. All of them. Not one mention of shopping or going away on holiday, or food…

Fools Rush in…

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I’ve wondered many times about that old saying, ‘Fools rush in where angels fear to tread’. What does it mean to be a fool.. in whose opinion would that be? And exactly where is it that angels fear to tread?

I realised that:
1) There was no such thing as a fool, and
2) There is no ‘where’ that angels fear to tread

Once I realised this, it could be said that it would only be a matter of time before a total transformation would occur. In fact, a transmutation is more accurate. The matter of time I refer to is a fluid perception of time that comes in waves… sometimes it’s here, and sometimes it’s there.

Who is to say that one is a fool?  This is surely just a matter of personal choice and it is importance only to the one, or ones, choosing. To be or not to be a fool – that is the question.

And about that bit regarding angels who are fearing to tread…   As far as I was concerned, this would not do for if there was somewhere where angels feared to tread then what hope was there for me?  There was only one thing for it, and so I asked an angel, a very big angel actually, and my feeling was verified – there is nowhere that angels fear to tread – indeed, how could there be?

That was it then, my choice was easy… if there exisited such a state where there was no fear, then that is what I wanted.  

NOW.

When this didn’t exactly happen as I wanted, I decided a flexible approach was needed.  So I read those books and was inspired by the clever quotes about there only being one ‘now’, and really, it solved that problem very nicely. Now I know ‘now’, it means now can be today, or it could also mean the now tomorrow, and also the now yesterday.

Having put off the now moment when I would start writing, this blog is my first effort at sharing words in a more formalised way.  It is dedicated to the musings and realisations I have had gifted to me in one way or another over a period of 15 + years since I first decided that I was not going to put up with being miserable for the rest of my life.

It is with Love to Spirit and those that serve the One in its many forms that I share with you here, and if it is an inspiration or help to even one soul, it will have been worth all the hassle of birthing my first blog.

I look forward to sharing with you.

Lynn

Archangel Michael demonstrating that angels do not fear to tread anywhere, especially on very fierce demons..